


eriidan ampora ii2 kiind of a tool

by SigmundFro



Series: wherein numerous characters judge their peers unfairly; nine characters sport snazzy eyewear; and everyone remains oblivious to the obvious quadrants; [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-18
Updated: 2011-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-26 05:39:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/279343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SigmundFro/pseuds/SigmundFro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sollux wants to hate Eridan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	eriidan ampora ii2 kiind of a tool

**Author's Note:**

> In my personal headcanon, human Eridan grows out of his desperate "lovve me please i beg you" stage, and becomes a shy, needy hipster. I guess you can call it out of character, but I thought it was more fun like this. That is all :)

_Eridan Ampora is kind of a tool._ No, fuck that, Ampora _is_ a tool. He can tell by the way he waltzes into the lecture hall, all puffed up adolescent privilege and self righteous importance. He hates him on sight. He hates those stupid hipster glasses that are probably for show, hates the ridiculous striped scarf because it’s fucking September and the weather hasn’t even begun to turn remotely fall-like. No, Eridan Ampora is a tool. He can just tell.

 _Eridan Ampora only drinks tea._ He has the awful luck to be standing behind him in line while he orders a goddamn cup of _jasmine tea_ and he can feel his face beginning to overheat because it is so incredibly painful and enraging to listen to the barista purposely delay his order to flirt with the stupid fucker. It only adds to his frustration when Ampora obliges and fucking _coyly_ divulges the fact that he only drinks tea and then the _insufferable prick at the counter_ laughs and says _aw no way man, same here_ , and just when he thinks that he can’t possibly hate this asshole any more, he sits down in the corner and pulls out his Macbook.

 _Eridan Ampora is loaded._ The guy reeks of money, but he had no idea just how much. Not until ff tells Eridan _oh, Sollux can fix it for you, he’s like a programming genius!_ She ends up sending him just about half the school, simply by knowing everyone, but the irritation is still there when the tool shows up at the door asking for “Sollux Captor?” He takes the white piece of trash from the other boy and tells him he can watch TV for about twenty minutes while he fixes the damn thing. It’s a minor problem, and he tells him fifteen dollars should cover it, but then Eridan pulls out a wad of hundred dollar bills and actually says _shit, Sol, I don’t have anythin less than a hundred. Just take it, I’m runnin late for practice._ And the bastard slaps one hundred fucking dollars down onto the table, grabs the Macbook and rushes out the door with a hurried _thanks_.

 _Eridan Ampora has incredible eyes._ He stops him as he’s leaving class and hands him eighty-five dollars – as much as it pains him to do this. _You overpaid, moron,_ he tells Ampora. The other boy looks up from the messenger bag that he’s casually sliding over a thin shoulder, and rolls his eyes derisively. _I know that, Sol, I’m not stupid_ but he’s not listening anymore because his eyes are purple, and he’s running every genetic formula he can think of through his head as he tries to come up with a logical reason for his eyes to be that unnatural of a colour. _Those contacts or something?_ Eridan shakes his head and he thinks for a second that his cheeks flush, but it’s obviously just the fall air and _look, I was runnin late for swim practice. Keep it, you fixed my fuckin computer, didn’t you?_ Suddenly he’s the one with flushed cheeks and it is _most definitely_ the fall air and also _how the hell did he not notice his eyes before?_

 _Eridan Ampora is shy._ He just wants his fucking coffee and listening to the same insufferable barista hitting on Eridan is making homicide look really good at the moment. He’s contemplating all the ways he’d like to strangle the guy behind the counter, when he notices the back of Ampora’s neck steadily getting redder, as he shifts uneasily and avoids eye contact with the guy steeping his stupid cup of jasmine tea. The douchebag ends up dropping some of his change, and he hates the way their fingers brush like in one of kk’s stupid movies as he bends to pick it up for him – _and more importantly Why is he picking up his change in the first place? –_ but the point is, Eridan is fucking shy, and everything from the way his nose and cheeks match the colour of his neck, to the way he mumbles a thank you through his scarf is enough to make him decide that _maybe_ he isn’t a complete tool.

 _Eridan Ampora is on his mind way too often for his liking._ It shouldn’t be legal to hate someone this much, but he does. He hates everything about him, and he especially hates the way that he can’t think of anything but Ampora and his stupid eyes and his stupid hair and just everything is insufferable and stupid and not worth thinking about – _he hates that he can’t help thinking about it anyway._

 _Eridan Ampora tastes like jasmine tea._ ff has a party and he gets just drunk enough to grab the other boy by the plaid collar and crush his lips into his own. Eridan kind of gasps into it and _fuck,_ he has soft lips and kissing him to get him off his mind is probably the most idiotic thing he could have done, but now that he has his hands knotted in that ridiculously styled hair and his kiss is being returned, he can’t bring himself to actually care.


End file.
